Apples to Apples
by SaintAugustana
Summary: Cricket, Serenity's newest and youngest crew member, gets into mischief with her crewmates River and Kaylee. Chaos ensues and Mal isn't happy. [Warnings: mild spanking/corporal punishment/cp of minors.]


**Apples to Apples, **a Firefly fanfiction by Fish

**A/N: Biro "Cricket" Crickaeyn (crick-ane) is an original character and has her own backstory, which you don't need to know, per se, for this one-shot to make sense. That backstory is a much longer fanfic and currently in progress, but this two-pager has been sitting in storage for ages, so I figured I might as well post it. Consider it a teaser. Open for questions and feedback, as always. Happy Holidays!**

"Kaylee! River, come on!"

Kaylee and River came blasting into the cargo bay, giggling and leaping over low crates and netted boxes – the crew's latest haul – followed swiftly by a much younger Biro, who barreled over a stack of big packages, knocking them sideways in pursuit of the older girls.

As he stood on the landing speaking with Inara, Mal's jaw dropped in horror as the crates scattered. "Hey!"

The three hysterical miscreants seemed not to notice.

"Give it back, River!" Biro ordered huffily, circling her older crewmates until they could get around either side of her. Just as she reached for the wanted object in River's pale, outstretched arm, River tossed it over to Kaylee, and vice-versa, and vice-versa. It was all in good fun, but they'd been at it for a few minutes and Biro was growing frustrated being the mark for their play.

Mal leaned over the railing. "HEY!"

River and Kaylee halted immediately, looking up dolefully. Biro took the opportunity to tackle Kaylee into a soft bed of the spare green nets the crew used to keep like parcels together, shoving another few packages to the ground, and they began to wrestle for the object.

"That is _enough_," Mal was on the floor in a flash, hauling Biro away from Kaylee by the collar of her wool sweatshirt. "I've told you young'uns more than once about bringing these games into the bay when we got cargo aboard!" he scolded, pointing a finger at Kaylee and then River. Zoe, appearing at his side, helped Kaylee to her feet.

"Aw, Captain, it was all shiny," she assured, twirling the bleach-red apple between her fingers.

Biro's eyes glinted, and she struggled against Mal's grip. "Mine!" she grunted. Though she'd been aboard Serenity some months, given that Saens were telepaths by nature, Biro's speaking ability was still a bit shabby. "Bié guǎn wǒ, bái chī!" Fortunately [or unfortunately], her Mandarin was lightyears better than her English.

"Woah, now!" the Captain exclaimed, giving her a decent shake. "Maybe you didn't hear me. That. is. _enough_. And what are you fussing about?" He gestured to the apple. "There's a whole bin of those in the galley."

"Ain't," she countered. "That's the last one, and it's mine!" With renewed vigor, she began to fight his iron hand again. By this time, Simon had appeared on the stairs, having heard the commotion with River, and Jayne, with nothing better to do, watched with mild amusement the scene unraveling below.

On almost instinctive reaction, Mal reached back and smacked her hard across the backside. "Enough! You will speak plainly, in _English_, without this undue shouting or I'll not be listening to your piece, _dong ma_?"

Biro yipped, hands flying back, the abrupt sting of Mal's hand bringing moisture to her eyes.

"Now how could there only be one apple left, it ain't been that long we've pawned that medicine from Ariel, and Jayne bought a whole box of them."

Kaylee glanced hesitantly at River, who glanced unhesitatingly upward to where Jayne stood on the elevated walkway. He gave a red-faced grunt and shrugged.

"Well, he ate most of 'em, too," Kaylee grinned awkwardly.

"It seems we've run our apple supply into the ground, Captain," Zoe offered.

Mal sighed. "Well... so that's really the last one, is it?"

"Yes, Cap'n," Kaylee affirmed. "We three all happened to come into the galley at the same time when we saw it was the only one left in the basket. We was just playin.'"

"So whose is it?"

"Mine!" Biro proffered with quiet menace.

"Yeah, I think we've established that fact," he retorted warningly.

"It's true, Cap'n, she dibbs'it first."

"Well, then, enough of this foolin' around my valuable cargo! If you hoodlums break a single gorram thing..."

"Yes, Captain," Kaylee replied respectfully, extending the prized fruit to Biro, who grabbed at it eagerly, but not before Mal could snatch it up out of reach. Foiled again, Biro hung her head and scowled.

"You two get up on out of here," Mal ordered. "Kaylee, you got a job, go do it. River... just... stay out of trouble."

She giggled, and took her leave.

Mal inclined his head toward the exit door. They went, and the crew dissipated as well, leaving him standing there with Biro in hand. He knelt down.

"Now, Cricket, you pay attention," he commanded quietly. As if ignoring him, she continued to gaze longingly at the apple, licking her chapped lips. He noticed the hopeful gleam in her bright green eyes and moved the fruit back and forth tentatively, getting a mild kick out of watched her pupils follow it excitedly.

Back to reality, he cleared his throat. "Cricket." Still, he couldn't get her attention. Raising an eyebrow, he brought the apple to his mouth and took a hearty bite.

_That _got her attention. She actually _gasped_.

"Either you pay attention or I'm gonna keep eatin' away at this... delicious... apple," he replied around a crunchy mouthful.

"Mal!" she cried desperately.

"Mmmmmm," he opened his mouth again.

"No! I'm paying attention!"

"Good," he lowered it to his leg. "Now I know I've explained to you the rules of this boat on more than one occasion, and those include no horsin' 'round the cargo and no shoving your crewmates about."

"But they started it!"

"I know, and I'm gonna see to them, don't you worry."

She nodded, swallowing back saliva in awful attempt not to look at the apple.

"And what is so damn _important_ about this apple?" He demanded.

"It's mine!" She repeated.

"Yes, I _know_ that," he returned. "But this ain't the kind of thing you usually get touchy about."

A pause. Her tongue found its way over her pearly teeth again. "I ain't never had one," she whispered back.

Mal's mouth hung open a ways – not because he couldn't believe that: apples were not a fruit commonly found on Matarie, but... "we just... _bought _a good fifty of 'em." He was using the term loosely.

Biro nodded.

"You didn't eat a single _one?_"

Biro shook her head.

"Cricket, you best not be lyin' to me."

"I ain't, I swear!" Seeing Mal's unconvinced look, she made to explain, but struggled with the words.

"Think it to me," he put her out of her misery. Images of missed opportunities flashed in his head, multiple contexts in which Biro was, by her own forgetfulness or some outside misfortune unable to grab herself an apple.

"Alright, alright," he rubbed his temple as the headache began to blossom there. "So you claimed this one."

She nodded quickly.

"I see. Well, you be sure and remember that supplies run dry real fast aboard this boat, and if you want something, you take it." _There, that was my life lesson for the day._

"Yes, sir," she replied, seeming to relax in relief as she realized he wasn't going to eat the thing. He straightened up. She watched him from a quietly attentive stance, her glassy eyes beginning to fade from jade to their typical silvery hue.

With a satisfied smile, Mal extended the fruit to Biro, who accepted it gratefully and took an eager bite, face cracking into a big, ridiculous grin as she crunched on the sweet chunks. At this overly happy display, Mal couldn't help but chuckle. Biro finished the first bite and gazed up contently, lips sucked in to retain the juicy flavor.

"Alright, I've had about all of this nonsense I can take," he shook his head, still laughing lightly, wrapping an arm around Biro's small torso and pulling her backwards into his chest. "Go on and make yourself useful somewhere valuables ain't present," he planted a playful kiss on her ear and sent her toward the catwalk with light swat.

end.


End file.
